Fixed
by YonderB
Summary: Harry finds something not to his taste on the internet, and finds out something interesting about Sirius, Remus, Snape, James and Voldemort. pure crack. you are warned.


In the back room of the Harry Potter novels that miss J.K. Rowling never mentioned, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Sirius Black, Voldemort, Dumbledore, Harry Potter and Snape were relaxing, sitting in the smooshy velvet armchairs and couches.

Snape was going through a Potions book, Dumbledore was polishing a bottle of something, Remus was reading a book, Sirius was reading it over his shoulder, a cigarette held in between his lips, Harry was surfing the internet in the corner, James was struggling with a rubix cube, his tongue held in between his teeth, and Vodemort was painting snakey designs on his fore-arm with ink and a paintbrush.

A soft, yet comfortable silence floated around the large room besides the occasional clicking of Harry's mouse.

Remus shifted in between Sirius' legs, leaning back against Sirius' broad chest, Sirius continuing to read over his shoulder, turning the page.

"Gggrrr..." muttered James, still struggling with the rubix cube.

"HOLY FUCKING _SHIT_!" screamed Harry, falling off his chair, staring at the computer as though it was about to explode.

"Mind your _language_, young man!" shouted James, not looking up from the cube.

"YOU _HAVE TO_ SEE _THIS_!" screamed Harry, jumping up and pointing at the computer.

Remus and Sirius looked up, as did Dumbledore and Voldemort. Snape continued looking through the potions book, crossing out a few words, muttering under his breath, and James threw the rubix cube at the wall, the cube rebounding off the wall and back at him, hitting him square in the forehead.

Harry looked desperately around, still pointing at the computer.

Remus sighed, taking pity upon the poor boy, standing up and walking over to look at what was on the screen.

Remus' eyes went wide, his cheeks becoming stained pink.

"_SEE_?" whimpered Harry.

Remus took the mouse and scrolled down, a small smile appearing on his page, his eyes whizzing from one side to the other.

Sirius noticed the blush on his friend's cheeks and got up, looking at the screen too.

Harry looked at his god-father desperately.

Sirius let out a low whistle. "Nice!" he commented with a grin, his cheeks a little pink.

"I have to agree." smiled Remus, pausing for a moment on a certain part of the web page.

Harry spluttered. "WHAT'S _NICE_! I'M _NOT_ GAY!"

Voldemort immediately looked up. "Don't worry. We can fix that."

Harry looked horrified at him, eyes wide and mouth open, all the blood drained from his face.

"Hey look! You and me!" gasped Remus looking closer at the screen, tugging at Sirius' sleeve.

Harry whimpered, watching as Voldemort and Dumbledore too, crowded around the computer.

"What's wrong, Harry?" asked James, frowning at the rubix cube.

"I'm not gay." sniffed Harry. Then he noticed his father had not looked at the computer yet. "You're not gay, are you?"

"Nope." James said simply.

Harry was about to let out a sigh of relief, when James added to his simple answer.

"Bisexual, actually."

Harry howled and gripped his hair, screaming and stamping his feet. Was he the only one who was strait!

Draco poked his head into the room and raised a golden-white eyebrow at the howling Harry, the pissed Harry's dad, and all the other adults who were crowded around the computer.

"What's wrong, Potter?" asked Draco, gliding into the room.

"AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO'S _STRAIT_?" screamed Harry, grabbing Draco's shoulders, tears in the corners of his eyes, and his cheeks flushed.

"Can you fix that, please, Draco?" James asked delicately, still not looking up from his rubix cube.

Draco shrugged. "Sure."

Next thing Harry knew, he was being dragged off, past the Slytherin common room set... past the Griffindor common room set... past the great hall set... and into a set with green and silver four-poster beds.

"Oh my _god_." whimpered Harry as he was placed on one of the beds, Draco positioning himself on top of him.

"Calm down. We'll get you fixed in a sec." Draco purred in his ear.

Meanwhile, Remus was sitting at the computer, clicking rapidly, all the men staring fixedly at the monitor, their cheeks bright pink.

_click_

"Woah!" Sirius gasped, turning to stare over his shoulder at Snape. "You're like _that_, huh?"

Snape merely gave him a half-hearted glare, his cheeks stained scarlet.

A loud whistle from Voldemort made Sirius whip around to look at the computer again, then gasp.

"Good one, Padfoot!" Remus giggled, pressing the plus button on the picture, making it bigger.

"I think I shall leave while I'm still sane." laughed Dumbledore with a smile, turning and gliding out the door.

_click_

"MOO-_NY_!" Sirius whistled, staring at the computer, Voldemort and Snape raising their eyebrows.

"AAAHHH!" Remus screamed, desperately trying to close the window, unable to because Sirius grabbed his wrists tightly and held them to the chair.

"I didn't know you liked _that_, Moony." Sirius purred in Remus' ear, causing the werewolf to gulp and blush deeply.

"Wazzup?" sighed James, heaving himself out of his couch, abandoning the cursed rubix cube and walked over to the computer.

"Look'it Moony!" Sirius cheered gleefully.

Jamed looked at the computer, looking bored, then his eyes widened to an almost impossible size. "HOLY _CRAP_."

"I agree." blinked Voldemort.

"That's just..." Snape said slowly, eyes fixed on the picture.

"Next picture! Next picture! Stop _looking_ at that one!" Remus screamed.

Sirius smirked and devoured Remus' mouth, pushing his tongue in, causing Moony to whimper and moan.

"_Nnhh_..." was all Remus could say as Sirius pulled back, taking control of the computer and clicking another link.

James blinked and Sirius straitened.

"I didn't know you two were 'inseparable' like _that_." Snape said sharply, looking from the picture to Sirius and James.

Sirius was having difficulty talking and James seemed to be in shock.

Voldemort nudged in between Sirius and James, then clicked another link.

James came out of his shock immediately after seeing the picture.

"YOU DID _THAT_ TO MY _SON_!" James shrieked, slamming Voldemort against the wall.

"Never! ... Not _yet_, anyway!" Voldemort snapped.

"... That's just _wrong_." Snape hissed.

"I agree." croaked Sirius, his voice finally deciding to work, clicking on the next link.

"... _Eeewww_..." muttered Remus, wrinkling his nose a little at the next picture.

"What?" both James and Voldemort asked, running back over to the computer.

"... What... the...?" Snape croaked, looking disgusted.

"Provocative snake usage!" grinned Voldemort.

Both James and Sirius looked like they were confused wether they should be drooling or gagging.

"Mr Potter!"

James turned around to see Draco, leading a dazed Harry into the room. "All done!"

"Good boy!" grinned Sirius.

"What are you looking at?" asked Draco, walking over.

"Look!" Sirius took Draco by the shoulders and stood him just next to Remus.

Draco rose his sleek eyebrows. "_WOW_!"

Voldemort, Sirius, Remus, James and Snape all continued looking through the websites, Draco helping as much as he could.

No one noticed Harry lying on the couch, foaming at the mouth and twitching continuously.

((END. i love HP slash. i really do! XD))


End file.
